October 15
Fair Fish
Tiny thoughts ping pong around my head hoping to win a goldfish, but what do I need with a five dollar fish? How often do I pay too dearly, for what is merely an animated ornament? When I falter in self-esteem I look to decorate my life through hostage taking and other unfair practices. I know I want to feel safe, know that hiding gives the illusion of that. It’s like the joke told about banging sticks to keep the tigers away. Does it work? Yes, of course as long as you are in a place with no tigers. I can distract myself, but I can not distract life; life goes on and takes me with it, no matter my disguise. Given this I can either; spend my time with a blindfold and a cigarette waiting for the end or walk the midway and go ride the tilt-a-whirl.
Sit still until the day unwinds a little
*
MISSING
The good times we never had but should have.
The pleasantries I endured waiting for pleasure.
I remember you potential with fondness.
The days, the weeks, the years,
I waited for you to grow to me have past
And yet time is what I have -----not you.
Hope is a wonderful thing until it turns on me and bites.
Images I built have tumbled
And colors wash from your portrait
I carefully remind myself
It is the idea of you I miss
Not you.
You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
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