Quote:
Originally Posted by atomiczombie
I need some support.
As many of you know, I suffer from PTSD and anxiety/panic disorder. I am fully clear and confident in my transmasculine/transgender male identity, mind you. I know who I am and who I am not.
That said, I am at a place in my life where it is now time to contact my doctor to start testosterone therapy and transition physically. Now that the moment of truth has arrived, it seems my anxiety has ratcheted up. I don't have doubts about who I am or whether this is really what I want, I swear! I am totally clear about who I am and have been for several years. I want to physically transition. I need to physically transition. I want to feel whole.
So why am I so anxious about making that call? I have no freakin' idea, and I wonder if any other guys have felt this way and how they have dealt with it. Any thoughts?
Thanks in advance,
Drew
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I had a lot of your same feelings. I think my stuff was
A) I'm old and tired. I spent my whole life fighting for queer rights, and I'm kinda tired of fighting. I don't have to 'talk about' being queer all the time anymore, because our rights have progressed. I didn't know if I wanted to have to go back 25 years into that bullshit again with trans issues, and anyone thinking they can ask any old question and be a complete asshat
B) The questions of just doing something new and different. Wondering if I was going to have regrets. Am I gonna lose my hair. Blah blah blah all that stuff.
C) Will I ever have another job? I mean, it's not like people are knockin' the door down to hire transfolks
D) Do I want to deal with other people's stupidity
E) Am I gonna get killed if I'm walkin' down the street, because of another person's hatred and all that
I had a lot of anxiety for a couple of years, and then, I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to transition, and the more I put it off, the older I got...and I wasn't going to live my life at the expense of other people's comfort levels.
The Anxiety Will Pass (or at least it did for me),
Dylan