Quote:
Originally Posted by Martina
I think it's generational in part. The pendulum seems to have swung back some. I think it's too bad if someone is pressured to change her name when she doesn't want to. Worse than too bad. But if you want to, if it means something to you to change it, I say go for it. It can mean a lot of good things, mostly that we are forming a family. We are not just lovers, we are kin. We share our property, our place in this world, our fates.
Speaking of property, I know happily married people who have never even merged their finances. LONG married folks. One of my best friend's best friend -- she and her husband cover the expenses 50-50 and have separate accounts. I have no idea if they are even each other's beneficiaries. I assume so. And I really don't have a judgement because it works for them.
But for me, the ideal is for people to pull together. It's a long road, and it is good to know that other person is all in.
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Yes, I have noticed more and more the separate account approach. I think that whatever feels comfortable for the couple (assuming it is comfortable for both), is ok. We all define the choices we make differently. For one person, changing their name is heteronormative, for another, it creates a feeling of unity.