[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by IslandScout

I think there is a tacit vibe going on during this conversation, and that is, that if you are a "real" butch or a "real" femme, you embrace the butch-name-dominance model.

Maybe I'm being paranoid?

Anyway, when a butch speaks out in this discussion against butch-name-dominance, it defuses that vibe, at least for me, and even if it's just in my head.

*My opinion* and I always speak from my own perceptions and feelings.

There also feels to me, an underlying tacit vibe that one is not a real feminist if one wants to change their name to their partner's last name.

Fuck that.

No one has brainwashed me.

No one has socialized me to believe that to accomplish a multitude of things, I had to be partnered in society <<< paraphrasing of course.

I will change my name when I want to, because I want to.

As my girl-friend would be more than happy to tell you (if she visited the planet); I don't do anything I don't want to do.

My family name is a symbol of a lifetime of abuse.

My married name is a symbol of same.

This is not some abstract concept.

This is my real life. If we marry: I am changing my name to hers. Hell, I am considering doing it regardless.

Because I can. Because I want to.

I am a feminist in love.