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Old 11-23-2013, 11:11 AM   #49
Cin
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Originally Posted by *Anya* View Post
OMG! That was my father's favorite phrase.

That one and the craziest one:

"Are you cruising for a bruising?"

I never realized how awful that was before.
This made me think of things my parents would say to me and the things I would think to myself as a kid when I heard them.

A few gems my mother often said to me:

“If you had another brain it would be lonely.”
WTF could that even mean? Who gets another brain? When has this ever happened? I remember thinking to myself as a kid, that’s just stupid. Brains don’t come in pairs why would it be lonely if it was alone. It wouldn’t think anything of it. Being alone I mean. If I ever got another one that is. Which isn’t likely.

“You could talk a glass eye to sleep.”
Well that makes sense anyway. The problem was with her New England accent it always sounded like she was saying “You’d tawk a glass ida sleep.” I have an Aunt Ida so when I was young I thought it meant I would talk her to sleep. And I just figured there was something I didn’t understand about her being made of glass.

“If you had a half a brain you’d be dangerous”
Leave anyone with just a half a brain and I doubt dangerous is the word you would use to describe them. I suppose it depends which half you leave. But I remember wondering why is she thinking about me having only half a brain in the first place?

“Why you see there’s a crowd around?”
She would say that just about every time I asked “what’s the matter.” I figured out what it meant eventually, but to a 5 or 6 year old, it’s just puzzling.

My father’s favorite things to say to me were:

“I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it.”
I remember thinking as a kid, how are those two things even connected? I didn’t ask because I did have a strong survival instinct, but I found it to be one of those particularly weirdly incongruent things that people say. I mean I didn’t bring him into the world, but off the top of my head I can think of a dozen ways I could take him out of it.

“I’m going to beat you to within an inch of your life.”
I always thought that was cutting it kind of close. What if your measurement is off?
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