[uglyboi]

I wore the same calculator watch for six years.

I was Charlie Brown in the play "You're A Good Man Charlie Brown".

I once won a radio talent show by playing, You Are My Sunshine through my nose. I can do this in perfect pitch. The prize, 15 tickets to a Rockfest. Yeah Baby!

I was taught how to pitch pennies by 3 homeless, elderly, very drunk men at a train station.

I'm old enough to know better.

If someone calls my house looking for "Marna" there is a very good chance it's a telemarketer.

I like adverbs.

I once got a concussion playing ultimate frisbee with a bunch of teenagers.

When I use twitter, I feel like a slightly feral village elder. My teeth itch when people tweet me to tell me what I'm not allowed to say.

Two of my friends from college named my thumbs; the left one is Bruce and the right one is Ted. I have no idea why.

I own a pair of Rayban Wayfarers. Classic black. Yeah, I’m awesome. Bitchin even!

I kick ass at MarioKart 64.

Banjo music makes me smile.

I must have shoes on when I hear banjo music.

I once spent 8 wonderful days in Ireland playing golf and drinking beer with 18 strangers and 1 friend. I came home with 19 friends.

If I am not making fun of you, I probably don't like you.

My favorite Disney princess is Jasmine.

I am the one who put the Lime in the Coconut.

I have been told that my hands and feet are exceptionally soft.

If there is cheese dip on the menu, I’m ordering it.

I once ate so much tofu, brown rice, and green beans that I passed out.

When I was a little baby, my mom cut my eyelashes because someone told her it woulld make them grow longer. My eyelashes are still short.

I can keep a secret.

When Beasley and I watch a movie, I will google the outcome and tell her before it is over.

I don’t think Angelina Jolie is hot. Or Julia Roberts. Or Pamela Anderson.

I hate cubicles.