[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Uli

I didn't say "lady" was derogatory or offensive. I said it was antiquated and oppressive. As in, it is a word that has been used to shame women and 'put them in their place' through multiple eras. I'm pretty sure it's impossible to oppress a person or group of people with one's personal sexual practices, unless rape counts as a personal, sexual practice.

Actually, many folks even here have been shamed due to their sexual practices. Hell, our whole community has been shamed due to our sexual practices. That's why that came to mind for me.

You are right. My apologies for not using your exact words. For me, the sentiment is the same. Oppressive things are offensive to me, for example.

Many people, especially the younger generation, feel that the terms butch and femme are antiquated. While I don't feel that that mindset is opppressive by itself, it could be if someone decided to shame another for being one or the other.

Our community has had to take back lots of terms and words that have been used to oppress and shame us. Dyke and bull dagger and queer come to mind. Why not lady too? Why does lady have to be a measure of something? Why can't it just be?

Good discussion.

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

(By the way Gemme that's not directed at you. That's me ranting at the entirety of the site, the butch-femme groups I left, the universe and the moon)

No worries! I always like to hear what's on your mind. We're all going to have words and phrases that rub us the wrong way, be they oppressive or offensive, both, or neither.