[QueenofSmirks]

The memorial service of someone very close and dear to me is planned for tomorrow. Some part of me doesn't want to go - as if not going means she isn't gone, or that I don't have to finally cross over that bridge of acceptance - even though I know she is gone, whether there is a memorial service to attend or not. The day of her death I cried all day off and on, at the hospital, and after leaving there. These last few days I've shed a few tears. Tomorrow I know I'm going to fall apart, and I don't want to. It's as if tomorrow marks reality, and I don't want to go there.