[imperfect_cupcake]

I feel the same way on line. It never happens in person. I also date people who don't define as butch because they believe it means flannel wearing lumber jack that wipes themselves with steel wool on the loo. They feel quite butch to me in bed and in the way we interact. They feel exactly like a person who IDs as a butch. The only time I see people balking at wearing make up or a pink dress shirt or liking opera or ballet or going to a city park for a pic nic and looking at magazines is on line. Which is why I don't do my butch and femme and genderqueer and trans community on line anymore. I always feel like I'll never get asked out because A) almost everyone is in the states, no matter what group I join B) I don't enjoy being treated like a princess and I don't want to follow certain American dating rituals.
So, no one asks me out = less than.
However in person, I have the "what do you like to do in bed" conversation where I tell them how I relate to someone and I get a big smile and a nod and we never even discuss ID, it becomes irrelevant what my ID is or what theirs is. They are attractive, they relate to me in the way I like someone to, I relate to them sexually in the way they feel instinctual about and we've skipped the whole part where they or I ID.

It does require difficult conversations though and if you can't talk openly about sex, it will probably prove fatal lol