[Loren_Q]

With all the meandering about I'm not sure what this thread is about anymore. But the original post resonated with me, so here I go.

I like wearing eyeliner (that smokey eye thing) and shave my legs cause I like the feel. I value empathy and cooperation much more than I value sports or competition. I have long nails (on one hand). I cook well and often.

I value my being female as more important than my being butch (read this as personal, I value in this in myself and am not imposing this on anyone else)

And I'll be having formal tea with a friend while others are having fun with that superbowl thing.

These area the ways I celebrate my butch femininity. YMMV

Have I been pressured to conform to some "Butch ideal" to tone down my femininity? Yes I have, many times, by both butches and femmes. Of late more by femmes.

My response to the pressure is, for the most part, to smile and say "no thank you".

That's it for the OP, but one other thing I feel compelled to say. I don't post often; in part because I don't have anything of value to add but more often because it just doesn't feel safe here.

Too often offense and insult occur, perhaps with good cause, sometimes not. If my opinion is in the minority, it's not safe to voice it, so I don't, and frankly it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

I've felt this the entire time I've been on the planet, and it's okay I just wanted to put it out there. There's nothing to fix, and it's certainly not your job to make feel safe.

So I'll post now and again when I have something of value to add.