Jess, as a lesbian butch, I found your responses to this new persons post to be very "othering".
She is coming from her "me" space just as you are coming from yours. This community is about embracing diversity. A different "me" space is diversity in action. People should not feel compelled to apologize for their "me" space.
To repeatedly direct her to the lesbian threads is othering. Lesbian butches post in this thread as well. That is just not cool.
Moral of the story, before we go looking for fault in how others post, we should look at what we ourselves post and the messages they send - intentionally or unintentionally.
Kobi,
I am not going to bother with playing tete a tete with you regarding MY posts or those of ConCrtAngel. If you felt othered then that is how you felt. I won't apologize because I did not cause those feelings. I am not responsible for your feelings.
I never condemned or berated her and I don't "look for fault" because frankly I don't have the energy to do that. I simply did what has been done for me on this website over the years and trust me, I was far more kind than the "schooling" I received.
As for referring her to the Lesbian Zone, I do helpful things quite a lot. Pointing out to a newcomer that there may be threads in a particular spot on this site that may help her with the issue they have (based upon her words while coming from her "me place") is one of those ways in which I try to help.
In short, I am feeling pretty damned ok with the interaction that ConCrtAngel and I had. It feels resolved. It feels DONE. It feels kind of warm and squishy even to have been able to express my feelings in a way that clearly did NOT engage her personhood, merely a choice of words and to even be able to be helpful. I am actually digging that and really happy she came back and genuinely seemed to be very ok with how it went down.
Have a good one.
