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Old 03-09-2014, 02:36 PM   #9
uglyboi
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As the 'The Bourne Identity'
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Cheerful pessimist
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Join Date: May 2011
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Default 5 for 5!

1. I set a home run record in tee ball, despite all the heckling. “Get off the field, jerk!” “This is a kid’s league!”

2. I want to be a voice actor in nasal decongestant ads just so I can say, “I’m not a booger, but I play one on TV.”

3. I used to have a hula girl on my dashboard but she finally left. Fine by me. She was blocking my view of the road.

4. When solicitors come calling, I invite them in and try to sell stuff to them.

5. I don’t buy burgers from Creepy King, Pennywise or Icecreamconehead. I get mine from Pippi Longstocking, because square meat tastes better.
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