I still don't get what one is...
But that's ok.
For me, if the first meeting is fluffy and I don't hear anything connecting, like being emotionally open and connecting with me like... I dunno... I ask people what their first memory is. From that info I ask about their relationship to that. I'm socially promiscuous. I like gritty emotional connections with people. But I'm also a die hard extrovert and people are my books so I may differ from others who don't like connecting with strangers. Without pay lol.
This is why getting to know people is a good thing, right? If someone doesn't open up on the first meet, I think "too difficult, emotionally closed. No thanks"
I like hearing about someone's relationship with their dad. It's fascinating. Good stuff.
But you get that stuff daily. So I can see why for you, it would be a drag.
