[Femmadian]

I don't think anyone, regardless of ID or relationship structure, gets a green light to be rude. I do think that people who are perceived as being more masculine, male, or dominant get away with bad behaviour more but that's more to do with how screwed up our society is and definitely not because that kind of behaviour is inherent to a certain ID. We're all responsible for our own shit, regardless of where we're coming from. There's really no valid reason for it aside from old fashioned sexism.

On the chilly side of the US/Canadian border, we're known for being ridiculously polite, even passive-aggressively so (but that's another conversation for another day). I think, having lived extensively on both sides, that it's more noticed and definitely more frowned upon here (though not necessarily always directly called out because, hey, that would be rude...). I know if I was with a butch (or anyone, really) and they were rude to someone, especially someone working customer service or in the food industry, I would be very turned off. I think that rudeness, especially when dealing with low-wage workers who can't fight back, is a form of bullying. Everyone has bad days but rudeness, especially if it's habitual, signifies to me that either they consistently look down upon the person or sort of person they're being rude to or have serious aggression issues and/or poor emotional control. Either way, yikes!

Finally, someone who will be handling my food, especially if they're working in a notoriously high-stress, low-wage environment such as fast food, is probably the last person I'd want to piss off...