Wowww, what a dirtbag this person turned out to be.
This whole situation sucks and I know you can't help but wonder what you did wrong for the first little while because it's a major blow to your ego, for sure. That's natural, but I think ultimately it's misplaced blame.
Think of two things that you can learn from this experience:
1) what this means about them as a person and,
to drive it home and really help squash any remaining feelings you may still have for this person,
2) what this could have meant for your future together should it have gone on any longer.
For example:
What you learned about this person is that they:
- run away from their problems (literally and figuratively) - what do you think this might mean for their financial stability...?
- cannot handle conflict - what kind of partner do you think she might be when life is no longer smooth sailing? Would she even be a partner to you at all?
- cannot deal with confrontation - what happens when you need to have those serious adult relationship conversations with her? What happens when you run into those normal everyday situations (or people) which call for (firm, respectful) confrontation? Is she going to just flake out or leave you to deal with everything by yourself?
- dishonest - the possibilities with this one are endless...
- no tact whatsoever! She could have taken the kinder, gentler way out and excused herself with a believable excuse, like sudden illness, but instead she didn't even have the decency. Think of how this could manifest itself in your relationship down the road...
This exercise I find helps me when I'm in a similar situation and have to break the bonds of attachment. Rip off that sticky bandaid and see what's underneath.
I know it's clichéd, but you really did dodge a bullet with this one.
Also, one piece of advice that a great feminist friend told me once: a job/career will take far better care of you than any lover ever could.
If you're only a few days into your new job, you really cannot afford to take time off right now. You're still very much in the "trial period" in your employer's eyes right now and taking any time off right now is going to have a lasting negative effect on the initial impressions of you as an employee. They're not going to take you seriously as a person or an employee and this may affect your chances of future advancement if that's something you may be interested in down the road (or references for future employers at the very least). Don't give her that power over you. She's not worth it.
Are you going to be distracted at work for a while? Sure. Is your work quality going to be temporarily affected for a bit? Maybe... but not as much as it would be if you just didn't go.
Take some time for yourself on your days off. Meditate, do yoga, see a comedy film, go out and explore the city or town where you live as a tourist with camera in tow. Whatever. Just do something for you that you wouldn't normally do (or that you haven't had a chance to do lately) and remember the importance of self-care.
Eventually this is going to turn into one of those stories you look back on and regale your friends with over drinks or Ben and Jerry's. Until that time comes, you just take care of you. The rest will take care of itself.
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