[*Anya*]

Oh Anais,

I, too, wish I could hug you right now. I am sending you a virtual hug.

We always think it is somehow our fault if something like you experienced happens. She could have had a family emergency, she could have developed an awful virus that caused her to have an urgent need to go to the bathroom or she could have realized that you two were not a match.

Regardless: she handled it about as badly as a human being could handle it. Instead of talking to you, face-to-face like someone with a backbone would do-she cowardly got in her truck and left.

It is difficult to not feel rejected because how she handled whatever the hell was her issue; was thrown in your lap. Our self-esteem feels pulverized.

This was her. All her. It may have had zero to do with you. That little nagging self-doubt about ourselves can grow into a mountain if we feel rejected or humiliated.

Try as best as you can to look at this as though you dodged a big bullet. Just imagine dating or living with someone that runs away, instead of communicates.

You are at the beginning of the dating world. Truly, one has to kiss a lot of frogs to find our (butch) princess or prince.

Dry your tears, realize that this is on her, change your dating strategy ( meet them somewhere for coffee or tea first, separate cars if either of you can tell it won't work-just tell them when you sense no chemistry and tell them it was nice to meet them).

Please do go to work.

It gives you something concrete to hold onto right now while you are realizing that you did nothing wrong-she did.

Take care of yourself.

You are worthy.

You will find love.