people that are so afraid of conflict/conflict avoidant that they do this are hell on earth to try to have a grown up discussion with. I do have close friends who are incredibly conflict avoidant but even none of them would stoop to that, so my guess is that she's a *real* charmer to the poor sod that lands her.
You'll learn to screen for more things the longer you are in the pool.
I listen to my instincts now, after 30 years of dating people, 18 of them lezzo. I don't make up excuses for other people's behaviours anymore. but that is something you have to learn, especially if you are of the care-taking sort. I did. I'm very glad I'm a hard-ass now. saves me a huge amount of emotional turmoil and grief and drama and games.
You'll figure it out. Eventually, after you've picked yourself apart and glued yourself back together enough times and blamed yourself enough, you understand Your Shit and Their Shit and the types of crazy that don't mix with your own. And you call it, much, much faster and without the self flagellation.
ETA: I'm personally a shit date, so I know what I feel comfy with and what I don't. What I couldn't do is not what others would refuse. I don't go for the traditional date stuff, I'd prefer to hang out and act like pirates, drink beer and be rediculous together. Most girls want someone to treat them like a princess for an evening... you'll figure out what trips your switch and what sets your flags going.