[The JD]

Whether or not Ru Paul and the contestants are "entitled" by their own personal identification to use the word (that's how I see much of this discussion), it's taking place on a TV show, not their private lives, which creates another layer of context.

Participants on a game show/reality show tend to be incredibly self-aware of the "brand" they're trying to create, and try to market themselves in ways that will "sell." If you're hearing Ru Paul and the contestants use "tranny" and "she-mail", it's because the show's producers think that will sell ads. That seems to me to be much more problematic.