[imperfect_cupcake]

I guess it depends on how you see it. I had a Hawaiian mate who used to call me cracker, playfully, and It never bothered me. It made me laugh. Why? Because I come from a dominant culture of whiteness that doesn't feel the effects of being one. To me it's just a word with no systemic bite. Therefore, her playfully using it had no oppressive backup. I *could* laugh. To me, all it means is white. I know the background of it, but it doesn't have that "feeling" behind it that other words felt for her.

I also met a straight girl named "g" who was a friend of my best friend. We were sitting around the table and I mentioned an ex by "she". G turned to me and said "oh! Are you a carpet licker?"
I burst out laughing "yes" I said "I lick carpets. Indeed I do. I do."
She grinned and said "I adore you kind of gals" and winked at me and I laughed.

I did not get angry at her use because I could tell by her tone she was being playful and rough-edged. Plus words don't really hurt me all that much anymore, tbh. The more self accepting and self loving I am, the less they seem to bug me.

I was upset at being called "titsy fatarse" by a group of boys before they shoved me off my bike a couple years back, into a bush. But when I told my best friend the story she almost peed herself laughing. At that point I stopped and thought about it and thought, yeah ok I see your point, and grinned. And you know what? It feels a lot easier, a lot lighter and a lot better to laugh when she calls me titsy fatarse now on occasion. That's not to say I wouldn't punch those boys in the face, given the chance, but I don't carry what Said or did around like a sack of wet wool.

The only thing that kind of bothers me is that I'm opineing away on what I think of the word tranny. I know what I think and what my trans friends think. I know which ones are ok with it and which ones aren't. And really, taking people's preferences into account is what friends do. I don't call strangers by that word because I don't know what they think or how they feel. They may not feel I have the right to say it, they may think no one does, they may love it as a term of endearment like I do with playful jousts with who I am.

But I'm not in the public eye saying it - you can't accomidate everyone in that instance. I personally am not trans in any way shape or form. So frankly, what I think is irrelevant. But here I am. Blabbing away... Because for some reason my opinion on the matter just comes pouring out of my mouth.

I do what my friends want. That's about as far as I can go with it.