[AtLast]

What defines me as butch really has nothing to do with gender roles or gender in and of itself, concepts of female or male (masculine or feminine). Its about values, attitudes, historical perspectives, and a personal spiritual sense. Feminism, being female and lesbian just fit for me. Just don't for others. Also, my feelings about the range of bujtch identity includes admiration for those that are able to cut through patriarchal concepts and simply be without trying to oppress what butch means to others.

Thinking that my arriving at a peaceful space with butch does have a lot to do with being able to read and sift through all of the discussions that websites like this offer. Sure, there is disagreement among us, but where would we be if we didn’t look at what we all feel define us as butch?

What I have learned by many of you, is that I had to stretch my thinking, do research, and just listen to ideas. I just can’t throw out some arbitrary definition of butch (or femme, for that matter) or put anyone into any particular box. Sometimes this is difficult when I have had some swipes taken at my own brand of butch. I have certainly had defense-mode moments. However, these have become less and less as I just try to understand how really fluid butch (and femme) identity is. No way is butch a one definition fits all concept! And I don't need it to be.

Overall, I have just become more focused on how we can combat the stereotyping of our entire queer community as the outside world views it. Queer for me includes every single identity among us. And there is so much to accomplish out there with things life ENDA, same-sex marriage, homophobia , transphobia, along with all the usual anti-lesbian, gay, bi, BDSM, (what am I forgetting?) bigotry out there.

I don’t care about how someone identifies themselves. I do care that we (me included) have gone at each other in ways that do divide us and just don’t help with the real struggles that we need to deal with like incidences of violence (on-going hate crimes) against our people within the umbrella community of queers.

For me, the best thing to happen within this community has been to be taken to task at times. Hell, I now have connected in genuine ways with folks that I did so much battle with! Why? Because I finally went to the real source of conflict - myself. Sure, I’m going to take issue with posts at times, but not without trying to simply understand the things that are the most difficult for me to.

Be the butch you want to be…………. The has not served us well.