[Blaze]

Do you have a Conscious or a Heart? This is not a special story line, nor is it unique. It's a story I want to share, especially to butches and transgendered folks. It's a lesson that's been repeated and shouted out many times, and I should know, I work in the medical field.
It's not a pity or give me a break story. It's my story. It's a story that I hope will get more of you to get checked when they say you should. Even if you can't afford it like I used as an excuse. The truth is that I was embarrassed to see the doctors because I was always called sir and trying to explain for the next 15 minutes that I was a woman let alone being it about the colon was a moment that I wish I never over looked long ago.
Please for the love of our community. Get your physicals done, especially if your over 50 like me. I’ve had a few bout's with cancer as a youngster and it was diagnosed early enough to recover and prevail. And I’ve e also had my share of accidents and TBI.
Any way... I'm on battle # 3 and my mind says screw it, I don't want to do chemo again, but my body pleads to differ.
So again, don't be afraid of your gender, get checked, with or without medical insurance if you feel that something is wrong, get it checked!

Now for my confession of having a conscious or a heart... By now most of you all know that life is difficult, be you alone or with someone, some of you know that I would give the shirt off my back for you, others have called me asshole and many other choice words, that I prefer not to repeat, because you know what you called me, I guess it depends on which spectrum of the bridge your on with me.
I really don't care what anyone thinks of me. I know who I am, and I have a conscious and big heart. I’ve come to a chapter in my life where I can't afford medical and regular life’s challenges so I get by with any means possible, and trust me I was spoiled. Wish I could reclaim all that I gave out through out my life, but that's not gonna happen, I know karma comes to the rescue.
The Doll knew I was very short on cash and gave me something to at least get me some groceries. I was at Walgreen’s and looked around and passed on my meds. I ended up at the 99 cent store. Getting some raimen noodles and things that I knew would last. Yes I know, not very healthy. But Its sustainable. Anyway there was a young family of 5 Mom, Dad and 3 young children.
The cashier rang them up and the gentleman kind of just stood there, then asked if the cashier could take out the salad, the milk, the cereal as she started to rescan, I looked at what I had compared to what they had, and they needed that food more than I did so I gave the cashier the $ 30 bucks and and walked out. It's amazing how if you look around you, many people are worse off than you and if you can help them out. Go for it!
I just had to share this story, because I was so wrapped up in worrying about myself, being the Azzhole I can be, that feeding a young family of 4 was the best thing I could do to make up for being the ass, if only for that moment..

Grasp life, get tested, live to be older than dirt!