This thread makes for interesting reading.
Some responses are pretty fundamental and were probably clear to us all along. Others we've become aware of through living something else and perhaps offer the most learning contribution for others. For me, my top three of these are:
1. Sexual chemistry - sure you can have a committed, loving friendship but in a relationship I need more. There is so much depth to my personality here, I need to be able to express/explore it with my partner.
2. Value alignment - compatibility on what matters to you. Moral issues. Work ethic etc. E.g. find something of value in the street. Keep it or hand it in?
3. Availability - couples differ on this I know. Some like the joined-at-the-hip approach while others value independence. I need her to be similar to me, to want to spend time with me and also to be available to do so.
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