[Kobi]

Originally Posted by JDeere

How about adding that women need to learn to do the same and take responsibility as well for their part in violence. MY attacker was a female.

JD, I am sorry to hear you were a victim of domestic violence. No one should have to face violence in a relationship. And, everyone should be aware that the first incident of violence will lead to more. It is rarely an isolated thing.

Domestic violence is a complex issue. The vast majority of perpetrators of domestic violence are male. The vast majority of victims are females and children. More women and children are likely to be killed at the hands of a male perpetrator in domestic violence.

The NFL has a serious and growing problem of male players who use violence as a way dealing with family matters. It has been content to let these slide until negative publicity, loss of corporate sponsorship, and disgruntled fans weighed in.

It is very common for people to blame the victims in male violence against women and children, rape, sexual abuse, or any other type of assault. This means women (and children) are blamed for the violence they endure. It means instead of focusing on male violence, the focus gets shifted, diverted, derailed, diluted by things like:

- what did the woman (or child or parent) do to provoke the male behavior?
- why didnt the woman leave or why did she stay if it was so bad?
- why didnt the woman protect her children (apparently fathers do not have the same responsibility to do so)
- what was the woman (child) wearing when they were sexually assaulted?
- was the woman drunk or otherwise impaired, implying her judgement or lack thereof was at fault
- why didnt the victim stop it?

The focus needs to remain on the behavior of the perpetrator. It needs to be called what it is. It needs to be dealt with for what it is...a propensity toward violence. It is a learned behavior and it can be unlearned.