[Mormegil]

Coming to terms with the fact someone I care about never really liked me at all I guess. Feels that ways after 4 months of trying to get together and being supportive of her dealing with a psycho ex causing her problems and even some physical abuse. And me attempting to show her how much I care , always trying to cheer her up when she was down....for me to have one off week. One week where my old anxiety came back for a visit. Spurred on by stress and aggrivating my Ocd a bit for her to just drop me. Been two weeks since I heard anything. No goodbye no nothin. Like I never existed in her life at all.

And I come to the realization this isnt the first time. Ive been dropped a few in the same manner. I give everything and Im treated like nothing in the end. I also see that my inexperience is a huge turn off for everyone i try to have a relationship with...they hear it and just leave. Like i have no feelings at all.

When I try to explain why Im a 30 yr old virgin with no relationship experience due to severe social anxiety disorder /depression most of my 20s. They immediately judge me or discard me. . Thank God ive over come it for the most part and can date....if someone would ever give me a chance. I truely think Im cursed sometimes. Just like when you cant get a job due to no experience but cant get experience without getting a job.

Just tired of getting treated like i have no feelings or im some kind of monster.