Quote:
Originally Posted by honeybarbara
Everyone has different words for different ideas. And we certainly have different meanings for each word.... So I'd like everyone to define those attractions for me... the words I use are: "attracted to" "I'm sweet on her" "I have a crush on her" "I'm falling for her" "I'm in love with her" "I love her"
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If it's still of interest, my personal definitions are:
"attracted" - means I find something particularly appealing about her and I'd welcome the chance to be around her more. A woman's physical appearance can be irrelevant to my initial attraction to her but becomes more relevant at the higher stages of this range. Once there, I am thinking about how it would feel to kiss her.
"sweet on" - I don't use this phrase.
"Crush" - this is all about mental air-time for me. Someone I'm simply attracted to will probably pass out of my mind soon after they disappear from sight. A crush will return me to that person repeatedly through the day. I'll wonder things about her, imagine in detail what it would be like to touch her, and enjoy thinking up ways to make her smile. I'd like to be alone with her and yes, I'd like to have an opportunity to light the candles and stick the Barry White CD on.
"Falling for" - this is a magical stage. We've crossed the intimacy boundary and just want to do it again and again. I get a soppy smile on my face whenever I think about her, which is most of the time. I suddenly need a lot less sleep and feel energised and almost invincible. Once here I expect two way monogamy but there may or may not have been mention of the word 'love'.
"In Love" - this is the ultimate romantic partner state although you can be in love with someone but no longer with them (though rarely by choice). For me 'in love' is when the initial rush of novelty has passed and you suddenly realise that you are forever altered for this person's part in your life. You feel simultaneously blessed by and fearful of the connection. It brings a new vulnerability but you know you would be opting for a tepid version of life if you turned away from it now.
"Love" - this is a general term for beings I love - pets, friends and family. Obviously, I can love a partner too but I would have warning bells sounding in my head if I 'loved' but was not 'in love' with them. I've been in that situation before and it translated to pretty much a deep platonic relationship - nice, but not what I'm looking for in a life partner.