Quote:
Originally Posted by honeybarbara
Oh you mean when someone rants about a recent ex during a date when you've not talked to them before?
Ok, I can see that.
But to me that's not *mentioning* an ex.
And yeah, personal preference. Of course. I guess because I do talk to people a LOT before I go on a date, that the first date isn't really "an interview"
And I like personal life stories. With lots of detail. People are my books. I love their lives and their stories. Including their relationships, their travels, their loves, their failures, their successes in work/school/love... It's who they are. What they have lived.
i don't talk about "lessons" because that emotional content to me and to me that's quite personal. How I *feel* is reserved for further down the line. Stories are organic to me, they come up without reserve.
And most of my exes are in my life. They are my friends.
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I think it's great that most of your exes are friends. You probably started out that way so why not still be that afterwards. That is not the case for me and not because I hate any of them because I don't, it's just that we never kept in contact after the breakup. Well one is starting to email me again and so we may for some type of friendship. Who knows.
I do get that many of your life experiences occur when you are with your ex. That those times help shape you into the person you are now, whether they be good or bad. But for me personally, I don't want to hear about your ex this or your ex that when we are trying to first get to know each other. Sure, if you want to tell me about them down the line, I have no problem with that. I think that if you are on a date with me, let's talk about me and let's talk about you. I'm sure you have stuff you can tell me without bringing an ex into the mix.
And if you are talking about your ex every other sentence, we probably won't have a second date so go ahead and let it fly. I'll think you aren't over them and that will make me run far away. And if you bad mouth your ex, it will make me wonder how you will speak of me to others. Not a good sign either.