[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Gentle Tiger

As a Transman, I am having iissues with this post. While I have seen "transphobic" loosely thrown around and even misused, This part bothers me:

"In addition, we will talk about the harms of transgendering to those who do it and to their family and friends."

This to me is transphobic. I do not think folks would be ok if "transgendering" was replaced by "lesbian" or "becoming a lesbian" and referred to as being harmful.

There are at least two different threads in the FemmeZone that address the ways in which a partner transitioning has caused different types problems for female partners. They have also addressed how they have felt silenced or unable to speak to the changes this poses for them and why.

Theo has spoken to how it is not unusual for relationships to not survive the transition.

I think it is unfair to Femmes to label the impact of transitioning on them as something transphobic.

To do so is to deny their experience, the difficulties they speak of, the internal discourse they go thru, the challenges the transition poses to their own identify, and the lack of support they feel for what THEY are going through.

Transitioning does not occur in a vacuum. It impacts partners, children, parents, siblings, friends, coworkers etc.

This is also not unique to transpersons. People coming out as homosexual also impact those around them as well. Seeing most of us started there, it is or should be something we are very familiar with.

I think to label this very human reaction to a big and perhaps unexpected and unwanted change as a "phobia" is wrong. At times like this, people are struggling, questioning, feeling very alone and very unsupported. What they need is to be able to talk and share and not have to filter what they are going thru for fear of being called some kind of phobia.