Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - 5 Things No One Would Know About You From BFP Alone

Cin · 01-06-2015, 09:42 AM

I'm a reluctant atheist. I wish I could believe in a god. However, logic dictates against the existence of god. Still, I liked Kilgore Trout's response in Breakfast of Champions to the query he found written on a bathroom wall “What is the purpose of life?” He wrote “to be the eyes, ears and conscience of the creator of the universe.” I just have to remind myself that neither a god nor a belief in a god is required to adhere to the spirit of that statement.

I'm someone who easily holds two (or more) contradictory or conflicting opinions. I seem to suffer no ill effects from this, no cognitive dissonance or stress. However being able to see many sides of an issue or problem allows for me to understand it from the perspective of another. This causes me to feel empathy for the other and her position. Which can upon occasion allow me to vacillate This sometimes leaves me feeling like I lack conviction. I believe I come across as wishy washy. Nothing feels set in stone for me. There are few constants. Over the years I have thought that perhaps I simply lack the courage of my convictions. But I think in order to have courage of conviction one needs to be convinced. And unfortunately I am rarely finished with a thought or a belief. I am always willing to examine it again and allow for a different conclusion. I don't feel good about this trait. It leaves me feeling indecisive and weak. Sometimes I wish I could be like those people who are so sure they are right and that their convictions are synonymous with truth. In some cases they are not even persuaded from what they believe by facts. There is a certain seduction in that kind of certainty. I think there must be comfort in being so sure of oneself.

I am too willing to hold up a proverbial mirror in the belief that people want to see themselves and like to look in it as much as I do.

I am too quick to forgive. I know I'm no saint so I doubt I'm just being nice. It makes me wonder if I have actually allowed myself to work through my anger before letting it go.

I talk too much about stuff nobody is interested in talking about. I know it's not that they don't want or like to talk because I hear them talking all the time. It's just something about my idea of conversation that is off putting. I see it in their eyes when I try engage them in chit chat. Their eyes say “chit chat, you keep using that word, it does not mean what you think it means.”

Bonus: I use waaaay too many words to say stuff. Upon further reflection I doubt this is something anyone who ever read one of my posts doesn't already know so nevermind.

01-06-2015, 09:42 AM	#1874
Cin Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Truly Madly Deeply Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: In My Head Posts: 2,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,333 Thanked 10,436 Times in 2,476 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I'm a reluctant atheist. I wish I could believe in a god. However, logic dictates against the existence of god. Still, I liked Kilgore Trout's response in Breakfast of Champions to the query he found written on a bathroom wall “What is the purpose of life?” He wrote “to be the eyes, ears and conscience of the creator of the universe.” I just have to remind myself that neither a god nor a belief in a god is required to adhere to the spirit of that statement. I'm someone who easily holds two (or more) contradictory or conflicting opinions. I seem to suffer no ill effects from this, no cognitive dissonance or stress. However being able to see many sides of an issue or problem allows for me to understand it from the perspective of another. This causes me to feel empathy for the other and her position. Which can upon occasion allow me to vacillate This sometimes leaves me feeling like I lack conviction. I believe I come across as wishy washy. Nothing feels set in stone for me. There are few constants. Over the years I have thought that perhaps I simply lack the courage of my convictions. But I think in order to have courage of conviction one needs to be convinced. And unfortunately I am rarely finished with a thought or a belief. I am always willing to examine it again and allow for a different conclusion. I don't feel good about this trait. It leaves me feeling indecisive and weak. Sometimes I wish I could be like those people who are so sure they are right and that their convictions are synonymous with truth. In some cases they are not even persuaded from what they believe by facts. There is a certain seduction in that kind of certainty. I think there must be comfort in being so sure of oneself. I am too willing to hold up a proverbial mirror in the belief that people want to see themselves and like to look in it as much as I do. I am too quick to forgive. I know I'm no saint so I doubt I'm just being nice. It makes me wonder if I have actually allowed myself to work through my anger before letting it go. I talk too much about stuff nobody is interested in talking about. I know it's not that they don't want or like to talk because I hear them talking all the time. It's just something about my idea of conversation that is off putting. I see it in their eyes when I try engage them in chit chat. Their eyes say “chit chat, you keep using that word, it does not mean what you think it means.” Bonus: I use waaaay too many words to say stuff. Upon further reflection I doubt this is something anyone who ever read one of my posts doesn't already know so nevermind.