[The JD]

Hearing update...

Okay, so with the new hearing aids, I can now hear the sound of kissing. And it's not a pleasant sound.

Last night I was watching some rom-com on TV, and as the couple began making out, I heard the sounds of slurping and smacking. At first, I didn't even associate it with the kiss. I thought maybe the dog was on the couch next to me licking himself in that way that male dogs do (not that I ever hear that sound either, but I've heard it described as pretty gross).

But no. It was the kissing couple (besides, the dog wasn't even in the room). And before you think I was watching some cringe comedy and it was supposed to be over-the-top, it wasn't. In fact, it was one of those (way too frequent) scenes in rom-coms where the two leads hate each other, end up being forced to kiss each other for some silly reason, and discover they have this amazing chemistry. It was supposed to be a shining romantic moment (not to mention one of the kissers was Amy Adams, and I rather enjoy watching her do any-damn-thing she does). And there I am, sitting on my couch making an "I smell shit" face and thinking how VILE that sounds.

The next time I make out with someone, I'm taking out my hearing aids.