Focusing on Ascot's original question: "I am curious to hear what others experience in regards to being reminded of one's femaleness while inhabiting butch skin. Is it no big deal? Does it suck for you? Is it just kind of weird or a little annoying? Does it make you want to leap with joy?"
I am in the same direction as Kobi. My femaleness never sneaks up on me. I am female. I did go through a period of time where I considered transitioning, and struggled with the decision for about 10 years (and ironically was my most feminine during that time...I guess as a balance to my inside thoughts).
I've seen our community go through many changes during the decades I've been with it. In the eighties in New York we were NOT allowed to be Butch or Femme, but all just to the left or right of androgenous--everything equal. I mean Everything. Then Butch and Femme started to emerge strong again. we set up our own codes of conduct and felt the pressure to act a certain way (butches wore short hair, femmes wore heels). During that time I was not in balance with myself...so during that time Yes, I would be surprised at my feminine self when I felt butch inside. But now, our community has gotten so much more accepting of difference, and that has helped many of us, myself especially, accept our own differences.
So now, I do on occasion dress in a dress (a rare occasion, but it can happen). I do wear mascara and eyeliner (what can I say? I like how I look with it. I'm a Maybelline Butch
) But I am definitely butch. I am not surprised by my femaleness nor is it annoying. It also does not make me leap for joy. It just is who I am. Me. Maybelline Butch with longish hair!