Quote:
Originally Posted by JediMaster
I had been feeling increasingly depressed lately. For a number of reasons....
I'm working this temporary job and was sent out of town on business last week. I was given work this week in Delray Beach this week and it's about 17 miles....not far. At my last 45 minutes...I was given this 6 ft section...I asked the project manager to help me set the shelves by moving them with me with the merchandise still on them...it was the quickest way to get the section moved as it was all saline and contact lens cleaner and eye drops (I'm doing a walgreens reset)...well anyway...before I ramble on...long story short...he helped me out and then tonight as I was leaving he told me I was doing really well...and everytime he comes out to me on the floor while I'm working on an area he always says..."Let's set the pace" and things like that.
So...I didn't think I was doing so well. I was busting my butt to only touch things once and get stuff moved. And I was stuck with peg hooks again...and was given about 9 ft to do by myself. It took me 6 1/5 hrs. So...the 45 minutes for 6 ft was really unrealistic. And I had an idea that totally gave us a jump for morning shift. And, he said I was really doing good work...that felt good. I was afraid (the way they kept checking on me), that I was moving too slow. And I thought I heard my name mentioned and a "yeah...I'll talk to her" but that could just be my illness. And I hate that kind of stuff. It doesn't happen too often, but when it does...... I kept my mouth shut and my mind on doing the job. And it appears to be nothing.
I feel really good that I'm doing much better than what I had been thinking all day. Another thing I hate about the illness...it makes me doubt myself. And it isn't rational...so it doesn't sit well with me. I functioned in spite of it and I think a lot of it is thanks to medication. Which I remembered to take today... So today was a good day.
Here's hoping you all had a good day, too... (I try to remember to count my blessings everyday)
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I can relate to the self doubt. I do it all the time...even when I am doing things I know that I did well before my diagnosis. I just started a new job and I have been experiencing that a lot lately. I just keep telling myself to keep at it, that I am being too hard on myself.