[Kenna]

I don't often like to announce such things in detail....

I am Differently Abled.... with several different illnesses, but the Lupus is my main struggle. I do not appear to be differently abled when a stranger sees me getting out of my car, or helping my Mother do her chores, or walking my dogs on a beautiful day... I've slimmed down after gaining a lot of weight due to damaged knees, am as active physically as I can be, can climb mountain paths when my body allows, can carry heavy items in on good days, and can be "one very hardy, tough cookie" when my body is not totally rebelling against me. After I have worked hard or "over done it", my body tries to shut down on me sometimes. I have bad knees, back and kidneys.... many symptoms from the Lupus that make my 38 year old body feel completely broken and drained of life-blood, oxygen and energy some days....I suffer from depression and PTSD due to hardships faced and survived from... (these are not the only things that make me differently abled, but the only things I wish to share at this point)

I get really angry and frustrated when someone in the public sees a differently abled person and assumes that because they are walking upright, that they do not deserve to use a handicapped parking space or the little go-buggies in the store, or they insist that they are not entitled to special medical care such as the Special Pharmaceutical Benefit or Breast & Cervical Cancer Screening, Diagnosis and Treatment Program or a Medical Assistance Program designed for "Special Populations" because they are Differently Abled and/or use Health Sustaining Medication. I get very snappy at the young, disrespectful, very abled 20-somethings that get snappy and nasty with my very Differently Abled Mother because they have no manners or respect for those of us that can't get around as easily as they do. I watched a young woman today take the only handicapped spot, and she didn't have a handicapped placard... after we parked up the lot and were walking past her (with my Mother walking very slowly and obviously labored), the security guard asked her for her placard... she commented "F*** You!! Do you see any handicapped people around?" the guy asked her to move her car... her response "any moron that wants me to move can just wait until I'm done!" Too bad he didn't have the power to write her a ticket. Right in front of this girl, Mom handed the guard her placard... the guard said "sorry Mam, the only thing I can offer is to go get you a wheelchair or electric cart." The girl looked at Mom as if she were the Purple People Eater, gave a disgusting comment and continued inside with her hateful attitude. I wanted to knock her block off!! But Mom said let it go.

Today, I was walking upright without aide (and not curled up in the fetal position on the couch)... was able to get around better than my mother.... but today is a day that just putting my feet on the ground causes great pain and feels like I'm walking on hot coals... once I get going, I can keep a momentum... but grit my teeth most of the way. Because of fighting off very chronic pain... I get exhausted very easy and am seriously wishing I could take a nap. The sunshine feels so good.... but being in direct sun for extended periods of time causes problems. After being so worn out and occupied with "fighting" my body today, I have no patience or tolerance for ill-mannered, bratty, disrespectful people who obviously are self-consumed and self-centered.

Sorry for my rant... gritting my teeth all day has made my nerves raw.