[nycfem]

I prefer to be broken up with, whether by a friend or lover, by phone. I like the phone call to be a surprise so that I don't have to deal with anticipatory anxiety (on my part, I mean). I like to know why but keep it simple and state it nicely, and perhaps be open to brief, respectful conversation about it. I don't want to be in person because I like to be alone when handling something like that. My least favorite is a long email detailing all my shortcomings. I find that to be cowardly. A friend of mine, H, from college, and I share a mutual friend, A, from college, and the 3 of us have been close friends for years (In fact, we were kicked out of college together but that's a different, more interesting story...). So H decided that she does not want to be friends with A anymore for a variety of reasons and told me she was thinking of writing A a long letter letting her know and detailing why. I told H that I considered that to be the easy way out and very hurtful and that I haven't appreciated when it has been done to me. H rethought it and offered to go on a walk with A to talk about things. A said that she already had a sense that H didn't want to be friends with her and that a walk wasn't necessary. H said that if A changed her mind and did want to meet in person that H was always open to it and wished A well. A then said that she appreciated that and wished H well. I was really relieved that A did not get a long letter telling her all the ways she sucks. Such details are only hurtful and very overwhelming imo.