[Nat]

I went to the book-signing for Ethan Hawke's second book. He read a bit of it for us, and right there in the middle of his reading was a cheap fat joke. He lost me at that point - I just went from thinking he was awesome (largely due to his role in dead poet's society) to thinking he was a douche. So then the book-signing part happened. My mother and ex-husband were with me. His (Ethan's) hair looked really greasy, and my mom turned to me at one point and said, "I bet you anything he doesn't smell like shampoo."

So eventually it was my turn to have my book signed. As he was signing it, I said to him, "I hope you're not as fatphobic as your character." This left him flustered, then he asked if I'd read the book and I admitted I hadn't. He said I should give it a chance, that the character about which the fat joke was made was really pretty good. I said I would. As I turned to leave, he called out to me, "God bless you!" As if.

My mother was mortified.

Sidenote: I had a few weeks before bought a bumper sticker that said, "Well-behaved women rarely make history," and I'd stuck it on the bumper of my then-husband's car. It was sort of a prank, but he hadn't until this time let on that he'd noticed. But on the way back to the car, after parting with my mom, I fretted a bit about embarrassing her. And he leaned in and said, "You know what they say - well-behaved women rarely make history."

Later in the week, I stayed up reading Ethan Hawke's book in the bath. I didn't make much of a dent. When I went to bed, I placed the book on the rarely-closed toilet-lid. In the middle of the night, I woke up needing to pee. I didn't feel like turning on the light - heck, I knew where things were. So I blindly went in there, turned around, sat down and peed all over Ethan Hawke's signed book.

I never finished reading it.

I think if I had it to do over, I would have probably not addressed it. Or I would have addressed it differently. But, as far as I know, he's the only celebrity I've met. And that's the story.