Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyte
Prior to my current single status I was in an eight year relationship. Prior to that I was in a two year "girls suck" period and prior to that I was in a nine year relationship. So for about two decades, I didn't know what was going on out here... not just in the single world but the whole not straight world! I've been single for a while now and ... damn... shite has changed! Three things learned in the first few years of being single re: butches and/or trans
When I first returned to the single crowd I was asked ... many times... if I was trans. At first I was (in my head) "huh?" because in my day (20+ years ago) the trans population was ...for the most part... middle aged men deciding they were women. I've since learned that trans ... how do I say this without offending... that trans has become more... accepted... mainstream... an option ... common place ... pick whatever word you prefer to describe how the trans community has evolved in the last 20 years. And.... I've learned that butches are now seen as potentially ... possibly ... trans ... or near trans?
The second thing I learned since returning to the single crowd ... that butches have been become a rare commodity in some places. I've a few femme friends in the PNW and ALL have said that butches are hard to find! My initial reaction was ... come on now! How the hell can there be a shortage of butches in Oregon and Washington? Last time I was there... it was femmes and butches everywhere!
The last thing I've learned ...anecdotally from other LGBTQ website/forums and directly from new butch friends ... is that some butches have felt pressure to transition. Not direct pressure but a cultural ... environmental ... societal ... sort of pressure that the next logical step from butch is to trans ... as if butch is not a perfectly suitable place to be.. full stop. Of course, I'm referring to pressure from our own LGBTQ society... community... etc.
I wonder.... if there's a connection between butches becoming less common in some area and some butches feeling as though they should become trans... or that they really are trans... deep deep down ... somewhere. I don't know if there's a connection but it's a curious thing to consider.
Having said all that... I'm butch and I'm perfectly content as I am. I've no inner voice telling me that I would feel more complete or more fulfilled if I were anything else.
Having said all that and that ... the only suggestion I could make to anyone is to listen to your inner voice and your inner comfort level. Trust that what you hear ... that what you feel... is real and that it's more than enough! And... or... if what your inner self tells is that more or different is needed... then trust that too! My point being... you can trust you to know what's right for you!  |
Yes, it's true. Butch women are a lot less common in my world, too. (NYC area) Some have transitioned medically, or they simply no longer identify as butch or as women. The part that I haven't gotten used to is that many people look
exactly like butch women to me, but they identify as trans or as queer, not as butch women. It surprises me every time. I'm not sure if I'll ever get my head around it.