As a femme on wheels, I suppose I have a little bit of a different take on why I'm old school. Growing up with disabilities taught me the stark difference between "coddled" and "loved", and it also taught me to watch for when I was being treated as *too* fragile. First and foremost, I want to be loved, protected, and respected, not mollycoddled as if I were to shatter at any moment. (Hint: I won't.) I need to be able to have a riveting discourse with my butch/transguy, engage my brain, but also know it's okay to ask for help reaching things on the top shelf. Or help with spiders. (I'm hopeless with those.) I like knowing the person I'm with not only remembers how hard we've fought as a community for the rights we have, but I know I can count on to keep fighting the good fight when necessary, and knows that we PwD are still fighting for basic physical access to everyday things like sidewalks. I want to know that if I'm asked out to dinner, I'm not going to get to the restaurant and discover it's inaccessible. That would be already checked.
And, yeah, aesthetics...I like to be free to wear my skirts, dresses, and stilettos, because once upon a time I was chided for my girly choices by others. I wasn't "gay enough" to them -- whatever that means. And finally, YES, I like to be with a butch/transguy who knows how to dress for the occasion -- even if the occasion is just us looking awesome together. A sports coat, a nice shirt, and a little cologne go a loooong way sometimes. A tie goes even farther. A bow tie? Aces.
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