Quote:
Originally Posted by atomiczombie
I am right with you when I comes to being "ma'amed" And when I am with a female, being called "ladies", etc. My ex-wife continues to use female pronouns when referring to me. Grr! This is why I am so looking forward to going on T (which will probably begin after the first of this year). I feel invisible. It's painful.
That being said, I worry about how I will be perceived after transition. Will I be shunned but the queer community as no longer being part of the tribe? Will femmes no longer be interested? Will my queerness be invisible? I don't consider myself straight- no because I am attracted to masculine people. I am not. But because I am attracted to femmes. Femmes aren't straight women. I have little interest in straight women. Does that make me a jerk? I hope not. But will I trade being seen as a female for no longer being seen as queer when I go on T?? What is your experiences guys? Do any of you feel the same?
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From my experience the following:
I never really felt part of the "Tribe", so to speak although the B-F dynamic did certainly feel more at peace than elsewhere.
Some in the community will shun you. That's a reality. You'll be viewed as a "traitor", so to speak. But just as many will accept you as you are. There are many femmes who like transguys so I don't think you'll be without and you'll likely be very interesting to them.
As for your queerness, invisible to whom? If to yourself, then no. You're the one who defines that, not others. I don't consider myself straight although to mainstream society that doesn't know me I probably do. That is their assumption (we all know that to assume makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me" so one shouldn't do those thigns but people do). Regardless of their assumption, I still define my own sexual orientation.
Would you be a jerk for not wanting to date blond-haired women? I don't think so. It shows your own preferences in a partner, that special "thing" that attracts you to someone.
Remember that the whole transition is the most important selfish thing you have determined you need to do. Everything else will come or not but it doesn't change your core self.