Great thread Medusa. I don't think I saw this noted yet (apologies if someone's already mentioned this), but the Center for Nonviolent Communication (cnvc.org) has an interesting perspective on communication:
"NVC begins by assuming that we are all compassionate by nature and that violent strategies—whether verbal or physical—are learned behaviors taught and supported by the prevailing culture. NVC also assumes that we all share the same, basic human needs, and that each of our actions are a strategy to meet one or more of these needs." The website actually has a list of needs and a list of feelings -- the exercise is to identify the feelings that arise when our needs are being met and the feelings that arise when our needs are not being met. The very first day I skimmed the lists I experienced a shift in perspective that allowed me a greater capacity to hear other people.
