[Isadora]

Both.

To me:

conversation is not pontification (ie AZ is evil and I have the moral (NOT ethical) obligation to point out to you exactly how they are evil and I am true and right.)

conversation is not sweeping declarations (AZ passed this law therefore all AZians whether they agree or disagree are part of the evil empire.)

conversation containing no is not a bad thing (AZ people who do not agree should move to Canada. No, I dun want to move to CA.)

conversation is an openess to listen and acknowledge understanding, not to necessarily agree (While I hear that AZ has laws that, to me, are abhorrent, you do not have to agree with me that we should boycott the state.)

Communication and conversation can be:

conveying information

small talk that bonds people to one another, but information exchange is not the priority

be bantering that includes inside jokes between people, humor that is personal and may seem at first inappropriate but banter is usually between people who know one another well

one way to communicate, but not the only way and in this forum we rarely aware of body language, or emotional language.

The other thing I always try to be aware of is that communication is cultural, effected by classism or country of origin or mental/emotional capabilities, etc. Autism, speech impediments, brain damage, menopause all effect how I communicate. For example, I am very aware that I have friends who do not understand or get sarcasm, so they just see it as hurtful or truth.

Like all things, being aware of how my words are "perceived" is important. Self awareness is important, too. I know my "firepoints" and while I don't ignore what sets me off, I am aware, as a grown up, that I may have bias, that I have a responsibility to THINK first and that I have the ethical (not moral) responsibility to communicate aware of my bias/prejudices and when I don't particularly like some one. Yes, liking or disliking people is a reality of life. Knowing that Papa Chris (just an example, giggle) pisses me off regularly, as an adult, I THINK through how I discuss differences or disagreements with him. Duh. Communication does take some common sense!

I think one of the things I work constantly to be aware of is that communication is "objective" impossible. In fact, I don't believe human beings can be impartial or objective at all. Everyone's ability to communicate is subjective to their experience, their emotional state, their physical or mental state and individual prejudices.

It is amazing, sometimes, with the all our differences that respectful discourse and communication is possible at all! Lol