Taking care of mysel and knowing I can. The thing that makes me feel better than anything is a sense of independence. That gives me the freedom to feel frumpy without feeling fear, without feeling crushed, without feeling that it will cause horrible things. Then being frumpy for a bit is just frumpy. It isn't loaded with all the other things that go with it.
A run. Some hot Thai soup. A spa bath. My own space, and a lot of it. Usually days or weeks. To gain control over how I feel about myself takes more than just a face pack. It means I need the independence and space to wrestle my own shit and to assert my abilities with only myself.
It was hell getting to that point though. And it felt deathly lonely, not looking after people, not being important to someone, not being so needed in someone's daily life.
Now I would not give my feeling of strength in my independence for anything. Not even falling in love. Jesus, especially not that. What makes me feel beautiful is knowledge and confidence in my own self. On my own. And that I am the one that is control of my own life.
I know that's probably not what you meant, but I read what gives me back my self confidence. And the sense of peace and independence and capability I have in comparison to the fear and anxiety of being afraid of being found unworthy... I still get it sometimes, but when I see what's causing it, I change something. Sometimes it's leaving the environment that makes me feel that way.
Actually to be honest it's mostly that. I no longer have to put up with stressors I don't have to. I leave. I find that makes my life a lot easier and my self confidence a lot higher.
