I was one of those dykes that went out dancing 4 nights a week. I worked extra shifts, and didn't eat, so I could go clubbing. I LOVED everything about queer bars when I was young.
Like every other thing I look back on, I'm grateful for the good times (there were many), I fondly remember most of the women I slept with (there were many) and I feel remorse and sadness and shame for the some of the mistakes I made (there were many).
I remember those years for a lot of deaths as well. So many male friends died of AIDS. So many people I knew died in drunk driving accidents and drug overdoses. Everyone was a smoker. There were the women of died of probably-prevenable cancers, but who didn't want to deal with homophobia, or their biology, at a gynecological clinic. And the friends who expressed their gender in ways that made hateful killers feel justified in their actions. And all this bad news was passed along at the bars. And we'd drink to them and party.
So when I think of bars in those days, the memories are a tangle of happiness and grief. I guess very generation feels this way.
It's interesting to hear/talk about, and a valuable comversation.
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The Origins of Butch & Femme (a retelling): https://youtu.be/U7VkXpZl4Mk
Watch more of my funny butch/femme movies here:
https://www.youtube.com/dykeumentary1
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