[imperfect_cupcake]

Thanks Gemme, glad you get my kvetching lol.

Because lady, used in most cases, is still a measure of how much class someone has. Lady still isn't just a word in our community. What's the opposite of a lady? Ask. You'll get answers. Not very nice ones. It's still very much a measure.

I've actually given up the ID of femme cause I personally can't deal with the concepts attached to it anymore, in North America. "Lady" concepts by those within the community is actually a rather big part of that for me.

I have less argument over the term "lady" outside of the butch-femme community. Far, far less. I get a lot of nods and agreement from most people. But not butch-femme on line groups. One on one? I get less argument. I get a facial expression of "ok I see your point of why it bugs you."

I would be more interested in reclaiming the word as not being a measure of anything, if it wasn't constantly being used that way in my daily life. Saying "I'm a lady" does not shock, does not challenge and does not make people think. It just looks like I'm buying in to the hierarchical pretence of privileged behaviour. Telling people "I'm not lady" is what challenges them to think about it.

Queer and dyke did not do that. It challenged people on their insults to a sexuality. That's the difference for me.