cricket,
It sounds like a lot. It would be hard for me, but everyone is different. For me, the determining factor would be if the child:
a) had to live with us due to environmental factors such as Martina described or disability
b) The child was there for a specific purpose/time frame and was following through. For example, if he/she is saving for a house and actually saving the amount discussed per month for said house, it wouldn't be a problem.
It is when an adult child is choosing to not work/function as an adult, than I have problems. Giving our kids a leg up is great, enabling them to stay on crutches, is not.
ETA: In terms of advice, the obvious...talk to your partner about how you feel.
__________________
-Dapper   
Are you educated or indoctrinated?
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