Great thread, and interesting posts!
I guess for me, "closure" just means, something is closed.
I close a door, and walk away from the closed door, and I'm okay with it being closed and I don't have an urge to keep opening it—as if I'd find something that wasn't there before, if I did.
The opposite of closure is a very unsatisfying place to be in. It's like standing in front of the empty refrigerator; opening it, seeing nothing there, then opening it again—still nothing there—and continuing to compulsively open it and reliving the disappointment that there is nothing there, over and over.
Closure, for me, means closing the door and walking away, letting go of false hope, accepting that some things will never be resolved, never make sense, accepting that I can't make myself known or even seen clearly sometimes—and it feels good to walk away from that struggle and agree not to waste more of my life on it.
Others have talked about the triggers that delay closure, the artifacts that are left when a relationship ends. I like to set them free, let those things out into the world.
I give away gifts from an ex, unless they remind me of feeling loved; not in a self-destructive, pining kind of way, but in a strong way, a way that feels validating.
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