[Femmewench]

My best friend was having her 50th birthday party in Ft Lauderdale. My partner and I went and of course didn't bring everything we needed, nor did we discover everything we needed the first or second time we went to the local K-Mart (I think it was a K-Mart.)

On this third trip, we bought a friend who'd adopted my partner. I'm at one end of a very long shoe aisle with the friend. My partner is at the other end of the very long shoe aisle. I hear my partner say: "Hey Eileen, you'll never guess who's here?" I turn and say to he, "Who?" She says, "My dad!" I say, "Not if he's got two arms he's not."

Backstory: I've not met her father, but I do know he's about 6 foot tall with silver hair. His left arm was amputated about 20 years ago.

Out from behind the end of the shoe rack steps a man, about 6 foot tall with silver hair. He takes one more step out, and his left arm sleeve is missing, as is his arm. I have just met my father-in-law. My face never even got red. It went straight from fair complected to purple in a nano-second. I turned around and just started walking.

When my partner could finally talk, after getting control of her laughter, she said, "Honey, that's not my dad. Gotcha!" The gentleman standing next to her was chuckling.

She just couldn't resist when she spotted him (she has a radar for left arm amputees.) She asked him if it would be okay; he thought it was funny.

This was 13 years ago. My partner/wife and I divorced last year. She's still waiting for payback. I still haven't found the perfect opportunity for that, but I keep looking.