Spritzer I definitely hear you on the balance between guiding them and letting them develop into their authentic selves. It's especially challenging to balance teaching basic respect for all people (including essential manners) verses teaching them to not blindly follow rules or take shit.
The biggest challenge I face is that I have no legal rights at all, and as things are right now at least my exwpukd never consider supporting social transitioning, though she already is perceived primarily as a boy and at her requesting do not correct them or refer to her as a girl when it's just the two of us. Once puberty approaches we'll just have to see - if she becomes a miserable depressed kid at the thought of her body developing into a woman's body, I will try to advocate for puberty blockers. But thata not something we (ex and i)can even discuss right now.
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