07-31-2011, 09:16 AM
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#26
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Member
How Do You Identify?: Femmilicious
Preferred Pronoun?: *she*
Relationship Status: And you said I wasn’t your type!!!
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: *SC*
Posts: 836
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tcountry
Not sure I am fully ready to share...but here goes nothing...
First...(not bragging, just saying) I have great parents. They married young, raised us well & are still happy & very much in love to this day. (i wanna be like them) I learned a lot from them.
That said...I have been a part of a parenting team.
I say team because 1) I was not considered a "parent" & 2) the girls' mother was in the same house & their father in the same town...
BUT...
The biggest thing I learned was BE CONSISTENT...not only you but as a team with the other parent. Have the same consequences...follow through with them...& if you don't like something your partner did, discuss it in private afterwards(change it next time, don't second guess them in front if the kids).
There is a reason why after 7 yrs we are not together...& there is a reason why whenever I actually get time with the girls they still listen to me. Lol
.......that is enough for now.......or too much....but, yeah
Some things we learn the hard way
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Thank you for sharing.
I had my kids during a marriage and in that marriage I was the one that made the decisions and took physical and emotional care of them. I didn't trust the other parent to do so. Later when Cruel and I became partners, I was not thrilled at some of the lessons I needed to learn. It was so hard to change from the "control freak" about my kids. It was so hard to not play the "mom card" whenever I "felt" it necessary which wasn't always truly when it was necessary. We've learned a lot of changes, compromises, lessons, over the years and some weren't even painful or driving us to the doors of therapy.
Communication. Consistency. Communication. Compromise. Communication.
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“Sometimes we make the right decision; sometimes we make the decision right.”
“Every conflict is a lesson in self-discovery for both of us. Sometimes it's only hindsight that makes it worth it. For you, I would do it all again.“
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