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LexiLove · 10-18-2013, 04:25 PM

This is a realllllly old thread but I wanted to share my story.

Just to be completely honest, I am teetering on 30. I will be 30 in December.

I knew I was ferociously attracted to girls at a very young age. I remember making my barbies kiss when I was 5 or so years old. I was definitely into masculine people though which was very confusing. I crushed on boys in middle/high school but knew something was wrong the first time I had sex with a boy. Actually, I lost my virginity to my best friend. She and I were inseparable and even though she was VERY feminine, I was very tomboyish at the time.

My father was a very homophobic guy (to be honest he still kind of is) and I am a through and through daddy's girl. He told me very early in life that as long as I was "not a rapist, murderer, pedophile, or gay that he would love me." I was completely crushed and spent many years hiding behind boyfriends and trying to change my father's mind. I finally ended up getting married to a man and having two children. We loved one another but I felt more like he was my friend. My now ex husband knew that I loved women and allowed me to "be" with women from time to time. He joined the Army and while away allowed me to have women in my life. They were my "friends" in front of my children, other family, or strangers, but once alone they were my lovers.

I remember the first time I saw a "butch" on tv. I am not sure how she identifies but she is very masculine looking. It was an episode of Millionaire matchmaker and her name is Tyler. I almost fell over. She was so sexy and exactly what I wanted in my life. I had reached a point where I couldn't hide anymore. I was depressed, scared, and really wanted to leave my married life with my husband. My husband left for Afghanistan and while gone, I met my butch. I fell HARD. Sadly, I broke my husband's heart. I still feel guilty for that but I had to leave. I wanted her more than anything else in my life. I divorced him, got custody of my children, she and I raise my babies as our own and life is good. My ex realized too that he is happier without me. It took a long time for him to get over me but he tells me that it is nice to be with a women who responds to him, uhm, sexually.

Anyway, all of this happened over the last few years. It has been a long process but I couldn't stay in the closet a minute longer after meeting her. Also, my dad came around and now loves both of us.

Life is good.

10-18-2013, 04:25 PM	#43
LexiLove Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Fierce.Lesbian.Femme.Dyke. Preferred Pronoun?: She.Her.Sweetums. Relationship Status: I have her...hoping to keep her Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: NY for now Posts: 53 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31 Thanked 135 Times in 36 Posts Rep Power: 950352	This is a realllllly old thread but I wanted to share my story. Just to be completely honest, I am teetering on 30. I will be 30 in December. I knew I was ferociously attracted to girls at a very young age. I remember making my barbies kiss when I was 5 or so years old. I was definitely into masculine people though which was very confusing. I crushed on boys in middle/high school but knew something was wrong the first time I had sex with a boy. Actually, I lost my virginity to my best friend. She and I were inseparable and even though she was VERY feminine, I was very tomboyish at the time. My father was a very homophobic guy (to be honest he still kind of is) and I am a through and through daddy's girl. He told me very early in life that as long as I was "not a rapist, murderer, pedophile, or gay that he would love me." I was completely crushed and spent many years hiding behind boyfriends and trying to change my father's mind. I finally ended up getting married to a man and having two children. We loved one another but I felt more like he was my friend. My now ex husband knew that I loved women and allowed me to "be" with women from time to time. He joined the Army and while away allowed me to have women in my life. They were my "friends" in front of my children, other family, or strangers, but once alone they were my lovers. I remember the first time I saw a "butch" on tv. I am not sure how she identifies but she is very masculine looking. It was an episode of Millionaire matchmaker and her name is Tyler. I almost fell over. She was so sexy and exactly what I wanted in my life. I had reached a point where I couldn't hide anymore. I was depressed, scared, and really wanted to leave my married life with my husband. My husband left for Afghanistan and while gone, I met my butch. I fell HARD. Sadly, I broke my husband's heart. I still feel guilty for that but I had to leave. I wanted her more than anything else in my life. I divorced him, got custody of my children, she and I raise my babies as our own and life is good. My ex realized too that he is happier without me. It took a long time for him to get over me but he tells me that it is nice to be with a women who responds to him, uhm, sexually. Anyway, all of this happened over the last few years. It has been a long process but I couldn't stay in the closet a minute longer after meeting her. Also, my dad came around and now loves both of us. Life is good.