[sylvie]

i am not, nor have i been a step-parent..
i have , however, had step-parents, AND have been in relationships where they've been a step-parent to my 2 children.. so i can relate with a lot in this thread..

i truly didn't understand how difficult it was for someone to enter a relationship with someone who already has children. it's taken some eye opening experiences to really get the giste.. i have never been a great disciplinarian, and now that my children are teenagers, it shows .. it's something i've been working on, as i'm too soft and have spent years of letting things go.. but, things have been much better this new year, it's been small steps with my children and tons of love to get things back to normal with some respect & lotsa love and just a better situation overall.. so once i am ready to get back into a relationship (which will be awhile yet) - things will be on a much healthier note..i can totally understand the pressures & stresses of being a stepparent - and will always be more mindful of it..

my parents separated when i was 8 years old.. i lived with my mother and seems i was always with a babysitter, day & night.. when she met my step a-hole (we don't get along) he moved right in.. she immediately took his side no matter how mean he was to me.. i was scared to even talk to him because of his outbursts, usually.. he woke up grumpy and was a bear right to the moment he went to sleep at night.. the emotional scars far surpass any physical scars he gave me.. eventually, my mother alienated me, i went to my father's when i was the age of 12.. my mother & i have never been close - and she has become so much like him, it's scary & quite sad, even.

i do have a stepmother , however that is very much like a mother to me, moreso than my own.. i've always known i wasnt 'as' important as her own two children, and i tend to not get included when they do their things, still.. but it's okay, now because i have a better understanding what its like taking on someone else's child.. and the love she does show me, is something i'm so appreciative of to this day.. i could always depend on her, i know this...