[chris1life]

Survived a Friday night without her. I carried on like I would any Friday night. I went to some friends house cooked out laughed and appeared fine. My friends were in shock that I wasn't laying in the floor crying. What They don't know is I felt like I couldn't breath. I felt lonely even though I wasn't alone. I'm so used to her holding my hand she was real touchy feely so all night I felt like something was missing. Every Damn thing reminds me of her. It pisses me off that she can go on a trip with her boyfriend and not think twice about me when all I can think about is her. Then sends me a text "you could be here too" hell no I can't. I understand that there are plenty of people that has open relationships but I'm not one of them. I'm not sharing it Would b different if we had agreed to see other people or have always brought other people to our bed but we haven't. She used the excuse people aren't made to be With just one person well I guess I'm real messed up because I havent cheated and haven't wanted to. If I have to bend who and what I am to be with her I would rather be without